My day's in cairn's (the story of me ready to suicide)

Ok now just to verify so you know what im talking about

mum started dating this guy named Rohan,and no matter what he always came first before me and my sibling's,not only that but Rohan use to beat mum.anyway they always broke up,then about a week or two later mum would always get back with him,it became inevitable.anyway when my sibling's and i thought the nightmare was over,we thought we had our mum back,i use to live in a house,sorry a mansion with my best mate,and i moved out to live with my mum,she tells me she is going to hobart for a few day's and i thought oh yeah cool fair enough....5 day's later and my older brother and i were wondering where the fuck she is,so we ring her only to have the very man that beat her answer the phone....it was Rohan,saying she was a at work we thought she done it again,she has ditched us for that worthless pathetic excuse for a human Rohan,eventually my brother and i came at each others throat and i said i was moving out....i moved around a lot after that,going to my ex's house living with mate's i had no choice....but to ring up mum and tell her that i was homeless,i had no money,no food....nothing.she paid for me to go up there to live with her.she already had a job for me and so i started right away

four day's later i had my own place,but it was hard living off $340 a week.i know it sounds like a lot but i had to pay for the net and for power plus food,but i was still getting about $120 to myself which isn't bad....eventually i found out i had an out standing debt with centrelink,equaling up to $2500 Appox. because i was homeless in tassie always struggling for a place to stay,they found out i wasnt studying .anyway as time passed by,the people at the IGA became harder to work with...they became cunts made un-fair remark's and if you guy's know me you know i don't take other people's shit,so i rage quit the job after a really sexual joke from a female 42 yr old super visor.....without sounding stuck up,pretty much everyone there wanted to fuck me,i left and told mum i quit i got onto the doll,and got back paid $799 and me being dim witted wanted a laptop and i had the money there so i used it....didn't pay rent (which was due that day) i was two week's behind anyway.i got kicked out and it all was from my own stupidity,so yeah i moved around a lot again,one night on new year's eve mum call's me....saying she need's help....1st thing i thought,was the C**nt has hit her once again,so i came running mum was out the front on the phone to the PO-PO,i went in and had a lighter in my hand (if you squeeze a lighter while you punch someone it hurts them more and you wont feel shit),i looked him in the eye and he knew what was coming.mum told me to back off she grabbed his $5000 camera and he grabbed her throat,i ran up and pointed in his face saying "get your fucking hand's off my mum you cunt",he let go,and mum stood in his way he pushed her to the side and charged at me,i scruff him and punched him twice (i dunno how but i got him a head lock) and i kept hitting him and well......a 5"11 17 year old against a 6"2 32 year old competition kick boxer.....i had no chance he fucking smashed me but mum got away.....anyway after a few days i was hearing i gave him a black eye (this guy....doesn't bruise easy),thing is i didn't even hit him as hard as i could to be honest i held back a little...i had the chance to kill him and i was gonna do it...later that night mum calls me again telling me she is in jail,and that when the cops showed up they arrested her....fucking slut's.anyway time went by,i was smoking countless amounts of drug's,drinking unlimited liters of Goon Rohan had left Carins and guess what.....mum went right after him so i was....alone a little more happen in between but this isn't about my mum....for once it's about me

wow guys i wanna punctuate this but i cant be fucked

time went by i was looking for work and found nothing.....my shoes were fucked up all torn and soggy all the time i was embarrassed to take off my shoes....i had one pair of socks and skin was always peeling off my feet followed by the pleasure of throwing up every morning not being able to eat and when i did eat i would shit it out within a 30 minute period not solid shit either the runny burning shit that you get when you drink coke more then you eat food.....i ate chocolate once and threw it all back up....i would seen how it tasted but i'm not that feral under constant attack by mozzie's which you should know are bad in Queensland so yeah anyway that's how i was living....did i mention i lived in a house that i swear was haunted by the devil himself....the lights for the kitchen didn't work the shower/toilet was always dark even during the day...now the toilet....every time you went for a piss it felt like someone was standing behind you and when you flushed it felt like someone was trying to grab you the door didn't shut hell there was not door once i was in the Shower and i saw the door handle open and the door pushed open i looked that very fucking second and no one was there no one was even home that day....if that's not haunted i dont know what is so here i am going slowly mentally insane i started hearing and seeing shit and the only way i could ever get passed it was when i was stoned or pissed and if i got pissed i would throw it all back up within 10-15 minute's i went to a doctor on that pay and he told me i had stomach ulcer's....severe stomach ulcer's he gave me Lexium and told me to eat heap's and drink a shit load of water....once i got kicked out of where i was living i went and stayed with a good mate of mine.....he was black and 44 year's old......my last resort he had drink's and i got incredibly stoned.....i said i was tired and he said for me to take his bed i said i would rather sleep on the couch he said nah it's OK ill sleep on the couch so i went to bed....i woke up at 7:30am and my arse was fucking sore and i looked down and he was sucking my dick....i got raped....i freaked out because it brought back memories of when it happened before all i wanted to do was leave i went and saw my an aquatint ....i saw him the next day on the street....i wasn't very quick to leave then...i beat the C**nt half to death i noticed he couldn't open his mouth with blood pissing out the whole time i was breaking his teeth he was begging me to stop i grabbed his jaw and put his mouth over a gutter....i was going to gutter stomp him (kill him) but the cop's sounded the siren's....when they did that i was already gone man....for another 3 month's i was living with a guy i hardly knew and his mrs....the whole time i was trying to kill myself but they always managed to stop me somehow....it's like they knew and they could of simply kicked me out...but they refused to let me go....they became my best friend's they gave me back my health they fed me and my mate got me a job with his dad in fiber glass that's when everything started to look up for me....i didn't get my confidence back and i still don't im mentally crazy and the people that read this are the only one's that know the real story....because im good at hiding pain and if you think this is bad? pfft this isn't half of what i have been through....i've done a lot of bad thing's in my life ive hurt alot of people physically and mentally and i guess when i was in Cairns became my punishment....i shouldn't say this but if you knew my life you would agree....i probably deserved it

MAN THAT IS REALLY HONEST N OPEN.....

GLAD U LOVE US ENOUGH TO SHARE THIS WITH US.....

I HOPE YOUR LIFE KEEPS GETTING BETTA... U DESERVE IT....

NINJA

My respect for you just went up by about 5000%...

fuck dude, i nearly cried for real

u got my number, any time i'll wire u money dude, anytime

Ice Cube man ILY

Ninja your just sexy man but i opened up coz im pretty sure someone and i had a discussion bout this section to put life stories in and that's what i plan to do

Scarlet....Cheer's brah respect

Yeah... But I don't want to share now because I'm gonna look like a pissy little teenage angsty whiney bitch (which is what I was really...) -_-

Agreed once me and hyk talked about this before he posted it for about 1 hour he made it much more detailed but honestly im 16 and this made me think shit hard about the shit ive done wrong also nearly cried , i never knew hyk's past hes always happy never angry at anyone I just thank god those guys picked you up off your feet and i met you

Love ya Hyk.

Love ya too Bam i am a happy person but im also good at hiding what i really feel

welcome bro... ANYTIME!!!!

Nobody deserves any of that at all, im sorry for you.
I've had.. things happen to me too man but i was lucky to always have a roof over my head and a mum although fuckwitted at times she tried her best for both of us. For me these things are buried in a hole in the back of my brain, and i consider myself a different person.. as things have gotten better for me at least. anyway what i was trying to say was think of who you are and what a lovely person you are dude. I've been through a lot but i cant imagine what you've been through, its our upbringing the things we see, hear and our surroundings and experiences growing up that have a big impact on who we become.. for the person you are being through these things you are fucking exceptionally AWESOME!! and had you been played different cards growing up, with the kind of person you are today your boundaries would be limitless. I don't know if this will help with dealing just the usual everyday bullshit of idiots on the street or just fuckwittedness in general, but i always tell myself if i made it this far then nothing can stop me.. my biggest enemy today is myself. Let the idiots be idiots lets just see how far i make it in 10years and then i can kick myself.. until then i have to try my very hardest to climb up that mountain on the pursuit of happiness.
I really hope this helps, never say you deserve it man nobody ever fucking deserves it people make mistakes and i know you've learnt from yours which is more than most people can say for themself, love you hyk!

Love ya too Rhino

well it's true we all go through a bit of our own shit,the only thing with me is i was a punk,but i changed all that,somehow...

Ice, enough with the pointless "one face and no text" posts. It's really getting annoying that I have to let my page load when I'm all capped and shit for an emote -_-

somehow.. with your awesomeness!! (;
im so durnk, so wont continue otherwide wills ound stupid and stuff haha hope all had a merry weekend!!! ;D

thats terrible! i couldnt finish. i got up to the Ghost bit and stopped... Hykariki im here for ya man. if your in trouble you got my number. hope things work out for you sooner!

ily man

i hope so too bro.......i have had it hard but meh...

I don't have Semi's number...

Aww.

For that matter... I don't have Hyk's number either =O

GIEF SCARLET YOUR NUMBERS PL0X! <3

...........................................................................................................................
IM AFRIAD NOT!!!

Why not?

ill give u his number lol

sif text me just to call me a noob....you nubber lub

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Let's smex

haha u love it. i was bored at work!!!!

LOL Ice xD

Nah. If he won't give it to me, I won't take it off someone else. That's a little rude and I don't like having peoples' number if they don't want me to have it.

He'll give it to me all on his own at some point =]

Wow. Really makes you think just how fucking lucky i and some of the other clan members have it hey..fuckkk!

Mate respect for hyk = IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!

Dude, i don't know if you're completely back to a stable life so to speak or not but congratulations. You have done so well so far, if you ever need to chat to someone, there's probably a whole clan full of members before me, but just add me on msn.

hyka = GODDDLIKEEE