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Ninja tips for healthy living

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Post by {Irish} Mon Feb 08, 2010 9:56 am

1. Exercise is important, but jogging is for wimps. Plenty of exercise can be had leaping from bushes and kicking joggers in the head.

2. Laughter is medicine. Ninjas practice the art of inappropriate laughter. Laughing when hearing about cancer also shows the Ninjas strength.

3. Ninjas occasionally, without warning, stab friends with throwing stars. Life is random. Ninjas embrace this fact of life.

4. Killing the wrong person happens. Ninjas know this. It is useless to live in the past.

5. Fiber in your diet is important. Ninjas eat the shirt off of a complete stranger's back at least once a week.

6. Sex is extremely important to one's physical and mental health. Ninjas therefore fantasize about sex two, three, maybe even seven times a day.

7. Everyone knows Yoga classes are filled with women. Ninjas prove their strength and impress the ladies by killing the yoga instructor.

8. Samurais are the source of much stress for Ninjas. They think they're sooooooooo cool with their armour and swords and those awesome helmets. It's in a Ninja's best interest not to think about such things.

9. When eating the still beating heart of an enemy, Ninjas eat it all. There are starving Ninjas in Africa who don't have any hearts to eat.

10. Cleanliness is next to Godliness. If Ninjas get tomato sauce stains on their outfits whilst eating out, they throw smoke pellets and disappear. Later, outside their den, they burn their outfits while screaming uncontrollably at the top of their lungs.

11. Mind Control is one of the Ninja's most powerful skills. Making small children give you money is not only hilarious, but quite lucrative, and therefore, healthy.

12. It's good for Ninjas to treat themselves to Western pleasures occasionally. That's why there is nothing wrong with putting on a comfortable Ninja outfit, lighting some candles, and watching "Ninja Vixens: Virgin Nightmares."

13. Secrecy is of upmost importance to the Ninja's peace of mind. Not even the Ninjas' parents can know their identities. Not even if a Ninja still lives in the basement of his parents' house.

14. Ninjas always ride shotgun. It's good for their sense of self worth. If Ninjas are forced to sit in the back seat, remember they always carry garrotes.
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Post by {Irish} Mon Feb 08, 2010 9:57 am

For the benefit of our Ninja, if you come up with any more "Ninja Tips For Healthy Living" add them in the thread

heheh
Good on you Ninja
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Post by NiNjA Mon Feb 08, 2010 10:03 am

LOL...
ROFL
LOL

AND DID I SAY LOL YET....

NINJA SKILLS ACTIVATE.....

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Post by BlueRhino Mon Feb 08, 2010 10:33 am

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Dude i dont think anything needs to be added i LoL'd more then than in a long long time THANKYOU!! 6 & 9.. ROFL!!
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Post by {Irish} Mon Feb 08, 2010 12:11 pm

personally i think 3 and 4 applies to our Ninja lols
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Post by ScarletTourniquet Mon Feb 08, 2010 2:45 pm

Yeah Rhino. You would like 6 and 9 wouldn't you. =P
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Post by {Irish} Mon Feb 08, 2010 2:47 pm

don't we all like 6n9
and the other 69 as well Razz
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Post by ScarletTourniquet Mon Feb 08, 2010 2:49 pm

Stop talking about sex related things!! It makes Scarlet somewhat aroused and Semi isn't here to fix it D:
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Post by {Irish} Mon Feb 08, 2010 2:55 pm

mMMmmmmmmmmm Very Happy
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Post by ScarletTourniquet Mon Feb 08, 2010 2:57 pm

You perv Irish xD
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Post by {Irish} Mon Feb 08, 2010 3:01 pm

you love it *grins*
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Post by ScarletTourniquet Mon Feb 08, 2010 3:03 pm

Shhh. Don't tell everyone.

On a serious note, I may joke around about this stuff with you guys on forums. But don't joke about it with me on the server if there are pubs around. Don't want them thinking they can make sexual jokes with all the females that play here.
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Post by {Irish} Mon Feb 08, 2010 3:04 pm

no worries Smile i know it is only banter
and i keep it pretty tame in game
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Post by ScarletTourniquet Mon Feb 08, 2010 3:05 pm

Ah I know Irish. That was for the benefit of everyone, not just you ^_^
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Post by {Irish} Mon Feb 08, 2010 8:06 pm

oh crap it's 4am .. off to work Very Happy
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Post by ScarletTourniquet Tue Feb 09, 2010 6:51 am

That's insane Irish. I'd die if I had to leave for work at 4am xD
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Post by BlueRhino Tue Feb 09, 2010 7:19 am

LoL i swear that was just coincedence!!!
but yeah 69 is awsome i lovers it.. second favourite sex position other than against the wall Wink hahaha
Yeah Irish 3 n 4 defiantly our Ninja good call hehehe
btw.. that piercing iv been winging about.. well i knocked it moving this sheilas place on the weekend and today cleaning out what i thought was pus was a chunk from my ear, so now im 60 dorrars short my piercing is out and i have a hole/gouge in my ear. noicce Neutral haha
mm tasty
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Post by ScarletTourniquet Tue Feb 09, 2010 7:56 am

Ooh bad luck dude.
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Post by {Irish} Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:26 pm

i suppose racist jokes are out lols
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